The Right Wing case for Joe Biden

Let’s imagine we are in a car, driving along a dirt road. The road is covered in fog and, unbeknownst to all but very careful observers, a cliff is approaching.

Suddenly, a figure appears in the road, and the car runs straight into him. He pushes back, and the car stops. Not wanting to become stuck, the driver hits the gas and begins redlining the engine. Then, the figure steps out of the way, and the car zooms off the cliff at breakneck speed. Boom!

The United States is the car in this metaphor, and we (the passengers) are its citizens. The driver? I’ll refer you to Unqualified Reservations for that (hint: The Cathedral). So who is the mysterious figure that stopped the car? Donald J. Trump.

Trump represents the final pushback against the failed American experiment in neo-liberalism and neo-conservatism (two ideologies that pretend to be different, but are in fact, the same). You can tell this because of how crazy politics has become since his election. The only reason that the media and governmental institutions turned up the heat is because they perceived their progress to be threatened. They thought the car had stopped. Not wanting to see their beautiful experiment finally fail (even though the car is missing a wheel and all its doors), they decided to up the stakes.

The United States has been redlining its engine since 2015, and Donald Trump has so far managed to halt its progress (albeit only slightly). Just as in physics, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Trump pushes, and the system pushes back with equal ferocity. It takes two to tango.

Obviously, this type of energy in American politics is not sustainable, and we are already beginning to see signs of fracture. Many Americans do not vote, many are disillusioned with the political process, and I bet all feel “just wake me up when it’s all over, please, and give me five extra minutes.”

Who will give first? Who should give first?

I think it is safe to say that the American Left will not be the first to blink. I see no indication of this at all, and if anything, the last couple of months have proven that they are just getting started with escalation. They are in it for the long haul, and this is not surprising. Trump has only been in office for 4 years, but the American Left has been in power since the election of Woodrow Wilson and our involvement in World War 1. And yet, Trump has managed to convince the American Left that their car has stopped, and that if they don’t continue to increase their volume all will be lost.

Regardless of if this is even true or not in reality, it is safe to say that many on the Left believe this. Words like “Nazi,” “racist,” and “white supremacist” have become so common that they have lost all meaning, and the focus on racial politics over the past few years shows desperation, not the signs of a confident ruling class. The American Left feels scared, feels that they are about to lose their ability to drive the car. They might even feel that Trump could somehow manage to push the car backwards.

This is their greatest weakness. If you already at 10/10 intensity, if the car’s engine is overheating and at 9000 RPM, there is nowhere left to go. All Trump must do now is simply smile and step out of the way, and watch while the car shoots forward off the cliff.

So, Joe Biden.

Joe Biden is boring, really boring. So boring, that I find it hard to imagine how the New York Times will manage to produce a single interesting story in his entire 4 year term. Imagine the headlines: “Joe Biden…just kinda sits around…”

Now contrast that with the current headlines about Trump. Every day seems to be a new crisis, whether it is the end of women’s rights or the start of a nuclear holocaust with Iran. As long as Trump is in power, his very presence is enough to generate and sell controversy. His existence is oxygen to the flames. Cut the source of oxygen, and the entire fire goes up in smoke.

This is why I will be voting for Joe Biden on November 3rd. I don’t want to keep driving towards the cliff at 5 mph, I want it to happen now (Don’t worry, my seatbelt is unbuckled so I can make the escape, and make sure yours is as well). The election of Joe Biden means the end of the Progressive Left’s hegemony, because they will have lost their greatest villian.

Who is Neo without Agent Smith? Who is Dorothy without the Wicked Witch of the West? Nobodies.

This is how we finally, once and for all, eliminate the Progressives’ hold on power. Let them drive the country off a cliff, I mean, we all knew it was coming. Now is not the time to play politics, because playing politics only justifies the Left’s existence. Take away their villain, and they cease to exist.

Instead of arguing with blue haired feminists online, just ignore them. We all learned this in elementary school. How do you handle a bully? You ignore them. Pretend they don’t bother you, continue on with your business as if they never even pushed you into the locker to begin with. Eventually, a bully becomes bored and leaves you alone.

A bully only gets their power from their victim. Refuse to be their victim, and they can’t do a damn thing.

So, what should you do? Prepare yourself for the inevitable crash. Detach yourself from politics, and position yourself so you won’t get caught in the crossfire. Remember, this car, the country, is heading to a cliff, so you better be ready to jump ship at the right moment. All your tweeting, all your anger, all your resentment of the ruling class gives them power. Take it back.